An open letter to Donna Karan
Dear Donna,
I woke up this morning to news of your comments during a live Daily Mail interview about the women who are stepping forward to finally share their stories of harassment & rape by Harvey Weinstein. If I had not actually seen the interview and heard you and above all, seen the look on your face, I'd not be writing this. But I did. Just, wow. I watched you blame women for being harassed, assaulted and raped, with a huge smile on your face, and say that women "ask for it" by the "way we are, by what we wear and the way we present ourselves to the world." You say that we, as women are "asking for trouble" with how we dress. I watched you use your celebrity to do so much damage and to belittle the experience of women who were simply doing their jobs, living their lives and doing nothing to "ask for it."
No surprise here. It's very easy to find images with your name on them of women in super revealing clothing (yours), legs open and beckoning to a man or the camera - Your tone in the video was one of judgement, offering that it's the very way we present ourselves to the world that is the cause of harassment, assault. And here are YOUR ads, with women clearly doing (according to you), everything they can to cause their own harm, and by your standards, every single woman in these images is asking for "trouble", including you, in these pictures. How dare you let your cleavage show, have your models dresses cut high up on their thigh, and look that way unless you want you and them to be harassed? You obviously are asking for rape for yourself and all women, based on they way YOU portray them. Is that the message you wanted to send, because it's what you did if we are to believe your words. The words you use, coupled with the messages you send out to the world through your clothing, your own choices and the ads you create are a cluster fuck of contradictions, lady. Seriously. You are dangerous.
Kyle
I woke up this morning to news of your comments during a live Daily Mail interview about the women who are stepping forward to finally share their stories of harassment & rape by Harvey Weinstein. If I had not actually seen the interview and heard you and above all, seen the look on your face, I'd not be writing this. But I did. Just, wow. I watched you blame women for being harassed, assaulted and raped, with a huge smile on your face, and say that women "ask for it" by the "way we are, by what we wear and the way we present ourselves to the world." You say that we, as women are "asking for trouble" with how we dress. I watched you use your celebrity to do so much damage and to belittle the experience of women who were simply doing their jobs, living their lives and doing nothing to "ask for it."
Do you know that women are raped every single day while wearing no makeup and sweatpants and minding their own business? And yes, some are raped while wearing beautiful clothing that shows their curves (some of it your clothing, no doubt). Surely you are educated enough to know better than to categorically blame women for being raped?
And now you backpedal and say you are "very sorry" and that it was "out of context"? Please, woman, do not insult my (our) intelligence. You said the words literally with your own mouth during an interview about Weinstein.
Watch video here (scroll down the page and click to watch full video)
How is that "out of context"??? You clearly meant every single word. It was evident by the way you said it a few different ways, repeating it and smiling all the way through it. And clearly you were thoughtlessly trying to protect and minimize the behavior of a friend. There is not a context problem here. There is a you problem, and the way you see women. And men. Then you realized you fucked up and now you want to clean it up to mitigate the harm you are doing to yourself, not us. You, and the fact that you seem to not be aware of just how incredibly contradictory you are is the problem. I am dumbfounded by your hypocrisy.
Watch video here (scroll down the page and click to watch full video)
How is that "out of context"??? You clearly meant every single word. It was evident by the way you said it a few different ways, repeating it and smiling all the way through it. And clearly you were thoughtlessly trying to protect and minimize the behavior of a friend. There is not a context problem here. There is a you problem, and the way you see women. And men. Then you realized you fucked up and now you want to clean it up to mitigate the harm you are doing to yourself, not us. You, and the fact that you seem to not be aware of just how incredibly contradictory you are is the problem. I am dumbfounded by your hypocrisy.
And, I am sick of other women defending and perpetuating this rape culture B.S. I have heard all variety of fucked up responses to men's sexist and predatory behavior: "You should be flattered that someone finds you sexy, that men want you." - "You are the one going around being all sexy all the time. You kind of have to expect it." - "You should flirt back, give them what they want" - "Look at that curvy body, you shouldn't wear yoga pants if you don't want the attention." These are things that have been said to me in instances where I have been harassed, groped, stalked, or been treated in a sexist way. These things have been said to me BY WOMEN. What are we doing paving the way for, making excuses for, and literally encouraging these men to assault women with these kinds of statements? I can't understand it. Donna Karan, if you were ever raped, would you honestly want the defense to say to you, "Well, it IS your fault, I mean, look at what you were wearing." And then would you want the judge to dismiss the case because it was "your fault", reminding you that "Well your clothing did invite trouble"? Can you not see the damage that you also do with your words?
This is exactly why women don't speak out (enough) and why some never do. This is exactly why women feel shamed, made small and instead of claiming their power by speaking out, often shut down, close in and get sick. I can not for one minute imagine saying any of these things to another woman, let alone in your case, to and about ALL women.
Yes, to be clear, you were speaking of all of us and I do not accept your words. Not for myself, not for any of us. I have been followed, groped, harassed, assaulted, and raped and I was never, ever asking for it.
I found some images of your ads, Donna. Wanted to see if you present women in a way that is in line with what you said in the interview. Because of course if you truly felt that if women dress sexy and present themselves to the world in a provocative way, then they should expect to be and will likely be attacked, harassed, assaulted. So you would not promote the rape of women by showing them in a way that might provoke it, right? That would line up as logical and consistent with your theory.
No surprise here. It's very easy to find images with your name on them of women in super revealing clothing (yours), legs open and beckoning to a man or the camera - Your tone in the video was one of judgement, offering that it's the very way we present ourselves to the world that is the cause of harassment, assault. And here are YOUR ads, with women clearly doing (according to you), everything they can to cause their own harm, and by your standards, every single woman in these images is asking for "trouble", including you, in these pictures. How dare you let your cleavage show, have your models dresses cut high up on their thigh, and look that way unless you want you and them to be harassed? You obviously are asking for rape for yourself and all women, based on they way YOU portray them. Is that the message you wanted to send, because it's what you did if we are to believe your words. The words you use, coupled with the messages you send out to the world through your clothing, your own choices and the ads you create are a cluster fuck of contradictions, lady. Seriously. You are dangerous.
By the way, these are all images attached to your clothing and perfume lines. Milla Jovovich - that red dress that's barely hanging onto her body as Gary Oldman is gripping her arm forcibly. What is that implying? That she is asking for rape? That it's about to happen? Why would you make an ad like that? To sell your product, right? Then you go on camera and say if she gets attacked, she asked for it.
For the record and to be perfectly clear, I like your clothes. I do. And I personally have no problem with women being sexy. And I don't think that because a woman is sexy that it's her fault if she gets raped because she had on something revealing. That's my personal position as a woman who enjoys dressing sexy from time to time and one who believes that I should be able to, without fear that I will be raped because of it. Frankly, I also don't feel that if a woman is walking around topless that she is "asking for it." Unless I am holding a sign that clearly says, "Please, rape me" or I am saying it out loud, then I am NOT. ASKING. FOR. IT.
Donna, you are welcome to your opinion, but you can't design super sexy clothing for, photograph and then make tons of money off of women in sheer dresses cut up to their vaginas, and then in the next breath tell all women it's their fault for being assaulted or harassed because of the way they are presenting themselves to the world... unless it was always your intention to help cause more harm to women...? It's the only way it makes any sense. If that's not the case, then you are just being a truly thoughtless and incredibly irresponsible person.
You COULD use your power, your celebrity, your clothing and your ads to show women as beautiful, feminine and owning their sexuality while still expecting to be treated with dignity and respect. You could model that we as women can be beautiful and sexy and dress in a way that makes us feel good, without being blamed for a few men acting egregiously. But instead you've chosen to both show women as hypersexualized through your work while simultaneously claiming they are at fault for anything that happens at the hands of some asshole because they are.
Think before you speak. And if you truly are so concerned about how women dress, and truly feel that it has everything to do with whether they are harassed or raped or not, then why do you design clothing and ads that do the very thing you speak of and judge? It makes exactly zero sense.
What I feel at the end of the day, is that you are hurt, wounded, broken in some way yourself, and this... this is the reason that you would say such things, that you would put yourself and all of us aside in defense of someone who clearly is not safe for women. And, I hope that there are more women who find the strength to stand up and speak out, and men, too for that matter, because until they start standing for us, our battle will not get easier. Until good, decent men admit that this is a pervasive problem, and that they and some of us are culpable, we're stuck.
What I feel at the end of the day, is that you are hurt, wounded, broken in some way yourself, and this... this is the reason that you would say such things, that you would put yourself and all of us aside in defense of someone who clearly is not safe for women. And, I hope that there are more women who find the strength to stand up and speak out, and men, too for that matter, because until they start standing for us, our battle will not get easier. Until good, decent men admit that this is a pervasive problem, and that they and some of us are culpable, we're stuck.
I don't know you and I am not demonizing you, Donna Karan. You perhaps have done wonderful things in your life and I hope that's so. I am just ashamed of and grossly disappointed in your behavior and abuse of your power with regards to women and our safety in this world.
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