Camp Real, Raw & Vulnerable

Here we go again. For the 8th year in a row, my family and I are packing 2 car loads of gear, art supplies and musical equipment, to trek 6 hours to the mountains of Santa Cruz where we'll camp for 8 days with a community of just over 100 people. There will be yummy food, mosquitoes, swimming, playing, merriment, laughter, tears, art, music and yoga. And, to be clear, this is not just summer camp. It's a workshop. This particular group of folks are deeply committed to truth, to growth and to being fully open, really real, raw and vulnerable in ways that isn't necessarily for everyone. But for those who are willing and ready, it can be life-changing. It's true that on rare occasions folks who come to this camp as newbies never come back, overwhelmed by the intensity of our connection and the raw honesty & juicy love that dominates the vibe. It's rare. Most everyone who finds their way into this tribe like myself, are in for life. We are in it for the connection, the growth and to see and know ourselves and each other more clearly and fully. We call things like they are, we stand up and speak out if there is a lack of integrity, we share our hearts. Big time. We pull no punches and things get really real really fast in the woods. And that's what I love. I show up with all my armor off (or at least most of it, the rest simply falls away after a day or two), and I let myself BE just as I am. I allow myself to express what is within me fully. I don't wear makeup. I do get dirty. And I let my tribe see me. Really see me, in all my glory and with all my faults. It's a true gift to have the space to be vulnerable, exposed, heart open and to not hide.

I realize that many people never do this - never truly show up as they are, without the good lighting, without the "right" clothes, the face paint, the "schtick", but instead they are more like a chameleon, adjusting to every situation so that they look, act, and come across a certain way for this person, another for that group. I am not really talking about being fake, I just mean the distinction between being 100% authentic with no apologies and being a less real version of ourselves. We all do it. We have all done it. I've done it so much in my own life. And, it's taken me a while to remember who I AM. And in this environment, I get to witness myself as real as I can be. And when I can show up and let it all hang out, let it all be, all my goofiness, my awesomeness, my faults and flaws, my insecurities, my heart - I am free and full and happy. I am so thankful I get this opportunity every year. And I write this knowing that at some point during the next week, it's likely I'll find myself angry, triggered, crying, who knows? That's bound to happen when people take off their masks and face each other and themselves, guards down.  I'll also find myself giggling, singing, sharing, healing, hugging, playing and shining my light oh, so brightly. All of it. And more. So off I go into the redwoods to find another part of myself. I can't wait.